TOP TEN MAGA MERCH ITEMS FOR REAL PATRIOTIC AMERICANS

 

Forget t-shirts with guns or coffee mugs featuring Trump's face. Here is my list of TEN items for the right wing enthusiast who knows s/he is right, and all the rest are wrong.

1.       Red, White and Blue eye glasses designed to see only real Americans and block out Commie Chinese-loving, gun-hating liberals.

2.        A pair of star-spangled boots to kick out Muslims, Mexicans, gays, and all the scum on that long list of undesirables polluting the purity of our culture that God Almighty reserved for real American Christians.

 

3.       A pair of blue jean overalls with an inscription on the seat of the pants that reads:  “Science will not stop me from exercising my freedom to refuse masks, vaccines and anything I damn well please until I’m good and dead.”

 

4.       Military-issue backpack wrapped in the Confederate flag. It also doubles for safari hunting when you get that urge to gun down a large or small critter on the endangered list.

 

5.       A helmet and baseball bat combo that reads: “Trump is still my President as God is my Savior”. This will send the right message to leftist terrorists demanding civil rights.

 

6.       A t-shirt that reads: After a shot of whiskey, I drink recreational plutonium, because real Americans are radioactive with patriotism and love to glow in the dark.

7.    A cell phone that instantly explodes, if the incoming call is from liberal-commie-homo-feminist-immigrant-Muslim-tolerating sissies who think God is a woman.

8.    A German Shepherd wrapped with the Confederate flag and a Swastika on its hind legs. 

9.    A pickup truck made-in-America by real Americans with the gun rack on the rear window. Red, white and blue bumper stickers let them foreign-vehicle driving Commie-Democrats know what’s waiting for them for polluting our great Jesus-loving country.

10. Patriotic adult diapers for the man or woman who knows he/she is full of it but still wants to keep it under wraps.